How did I not know I needed you?

It was minutes before midnight on July 30, 2016. You walked through the door with "Kevin" looking exhausted, uneasy and timid. I could tell you weren't quite sure this was where you wanted to be. The uncertainty in your eyes was obvious.

We had a long talk that night. You weren't quite sure what place you wanted in our lives. Would we be your cousins? Your parents? Your guardians? What would our role be? What role would you play? Would you like it here? Would you fit in? We all had so many questions. We knew we didn't need answers right away. We were strangers now living under the same roof.

We were "Kevin and Jaclyn". We were the people you lived with..... nothing more.... not yet. We were in the "honeymoon period". We all tried our best to get along, to find our new normal, and to figure out "who" the other person was.

We introduced you to the family. They all loved you right away. I did too, but I couldn't tell you right away. I didn't want to scare you. We started making memories. A camping trip. Boondocks. Church. Family Home Evening.....

As days turned into weeks we became "Mom" and "Dad". You became our oldest son. Our bond grew stronger than I ever thought possible. I looked forward to seeing you after work/school. I wanted to hear how your day went. I wanted to know you were happy. I wanted to know that you "felt" it too. The love between a mother and her son. There is nothing quite like it. I feared our chance was lost long ago. You are too old. I am a stranger. I was wrong. I love you more with each passing moment. I look back, and it is hard for me to remember my life without you. My future always has you in it.

I always say "The mom days are gone". Some of them are. The "traditional" mom days are over. We will just have to be "untraditional" and create our own bond in our own way. I love spending time with you. I love getting to know you. I love that you are my son forever.

I know we tease you a lot, but your dad and I love you more than you will ever know.