It seems that often times in life we are faced with trials that we just do not understand. The loss of Adam is right at the top of my list of hardest trials. I experienced a huge range of emotion with Anger rating highest on that list. While I had always known God had a plan, at that point in my life, I just could not see it. In my mind, I still believed it was true, but my heart was too broken to see reason!! After 8 months, I am started to accept that God's plan is perfect even though I am still in pain. I feel honored to have been chosed to be the Mom of a PERFECT ANGEL here on Earth, and guess what?!?! He is mine FOREVER. While I should have been thankful that Adam was not forced to endure more pain and misery in this life, I was so focused on Anger and Questioning.... WHY ME?!?!? If asked again this very minute to endure the pain of losing Adam again 1 million times just to have a few more moments of time with him, I would not hesitate. The joy he brought into this World was something so beautiful, I wish I could have shared him with EVERYONE!!! Do not get me wrong, I miss him something fierce, I cry often and still sometimes wonder why, but I also know that it is not mine to know at this time. I need to trust God's plan!