Love Makes Families

Love Makes Families
A family of 7 due to the blessing of adoption!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

A letter to my daughters

I was sitting here thinking the other day...... What would I want to tell my daughters if I could write them one last letter..... These thoughts were brought on by a childhood friend of mine who lost her mother unexpectedly. She just had her first baby and wanted her mother's advice...... So, here goes my advice to my girls.

Dear daughters,
I want to start this letter by telling you how blessed I am to be your mother. I love you more than you will ever know. Until the time when you have your own child... only then will you get a glimpse into how powerful a mothers love is. 

I am so proud of how fast you are learning and growing. Kaitlyn, you are only 6 years old, and you are already smarter than me. You can read words that I couldn't read until I was much older. You have my math skills, that is for sure. I think you are all bound to love math since your dad and I both do. Your teacher tells me how amazing you are. You are also learning how to make and keep friends which makes me so proud. One of your best traits is your honesty. Even when you know that you might get in trouble, you always tell us the truth. You are starting to show so much compassion towards other, but your love towards your Heavenly Father is something that teaches me each day. I love how you made a New Years Resolution to read the Scriptures each day. You have been a great example. You will accomplish something by age 7 that it has taken your dad and I until this point to do.... Read the entire Book of Mormon.... It shocks me that you can read so many of the big words in the Scriptures. You have always been such a big helper to me.... in so many ways. For that, my sweet Kaitlyn, I will always be thankful.

Brittany, You are starting to grow up so fast. You are hot on Kaitlyn's tail with your learning. I can tell you love math the most. You sit and focus long enough to accomplish that. Reading seems to bore you. That is ok. I don't think I finished an entire book until I was married. It may have been after I had kids. Let me encourage you to read though.... It is something I wished I had done more as a child. Math is a great skill to have. It makes me laugh that you pretend not to know the answers, but I know that you know. You just really like the extra attention you get by taking longer.... See that right there shows me how smart you are. Especially since once homework time is over you can answer the same math problems without even thinking. I love how observant you are of other people's feelings... never let that go because it is my favorite thing about you. I remember a ton of times when mommy was sad, and you would just come wrap your arms around me. You knew I needed a hug... even when I didn't. You always had a way to make me feel better.

Alyssa, When did you get so big? At just 2 years old, you are talking and acting bigger than some 5 year olds I know. You are soooooo stubborn though. I have no idea where you got that from. Hang on to that trait, but use it wisely. I didn't always use my stubbornness in the best ways. Be kind to others, but do not let them walk all over you. You and Kaitlyn may have to teach this trait to Britt because she likes to make everyone happy. (Just don't let her make herself sad in the process..... ask Aunt Peggy about that one). Your spunky little personality has gotten you out of soooo much trouble, but also secured you a spot in tons of hearts! Nobody can stay mad with you around. You have a way of lighting up a room just by walking into it. It is a great quality.... keep it up! The funny things you say make me smile even when I do not want to.

You girls are all so different, but also so much the same. I love that you guys truly love each other. Do NOT let that go..... ever!! Remember that nobody! Guys included should ever come between sisters..... When all your friends from childhood, high school, college, work etc have all disappeared.... guess who is left... Family. My sister and I would fight every chance we got growing up, but when it came down to it we knew we loved each other and would do anything for each other. Aunt Peggy is my very best friend! I hope you girls will be best friends one day. 

Here is some advice.... some things I am thinking about now that I may forget later..... Never be a bully. I do not car how cool you or your friends think it is. Do not pick on others to make yourself feel better. You will regret it later. Take it from me, it is not fun to have regret. Always live your life like a daughter of God would live..... Love others, serve others and remember respect! 

Never date someone you wouldn't marry. I used to hate when my mom would say things like that to me.... C'mon mom it is just a date. It is not like we are going to get married. I always used to say..... nobody marries their high school sweetheart anyways..... WRONG! I met your dad when I was only 12 years old.... I was not even thinking about marriage yet, but I fell in love... even though it took me 5 years :) The way I see it, you should marry the man that becomes your best friend. The one you have fun with and have things in common with. You will know what I mean someday. Oh, and get married in the temple!! I want to see you in Heaven!

Always try your best in school!!! Grades do matter!! In this world, the work force is so competitive. You will need a college education to stand a chance. Do not plan on getting married and having a man support you. Be self sufficient. You never know what trials life will bring you. Be prepared to take care of yourself and your family!

Let other people help you, but be appreciative. I think service is an amazing thing. I was always stubborn and tried to do everything on my own. I did not like to feel like I needed help. Let me share a little secret with you..... If you do not let others help you, you are denying them blessings. Accept the help if you need it, but always say thank you and pay it forward!

Ok let's talk babies... WAIT! Do not get married and start your family right away. Give yourself time to adjust to being married before you have kids. Take some vacations, go on a cruise and enjoy a few years first. Oh, and maybe save some too.... Kids are expensive. On that same note.... do not wait until you can "afford" to have a kid.... Follow God's plan... Trust in him to have perfect timing.
Also, along the lines of babies..... many people will offer advice. Be careful what advice you take. Trust your gut. The Lord teaches moms as they go.... Before long you will know your baby better than you know yourself. I knew what each cry meant (yes there are different cries). I could play your giggles over and over in my head. The laughter of a child is the best thing ever! 

Basically, Life is simple. Do not make it harder than it has to be. Be a good person, surround yourself with good people, and follow God. I believe he has a plan for each of you. You each have talents and something special that you bring to our family. Share your talents with others. I cannot wait to see what beautiful women you become.